Ah, the Interwebz. Purveyor of recipes, cat videos, the Mighty ‘Zon…and spider porn.
No, you probably do not want to Google search that and click on the Images tab.
(It’s okay. I’ll wait while you do.)
So how the fark did I end up running a search for THAT? Well, I’m a sadist. And despite my fear and loathing of spiders, sometimes, in the name of sadism, ya just gotta take one for the team.
I’m on a Facebook group where someone posted a Photoshopped (I hope) pic of a hunk reclining on the beach…with an octopus covering him.
(Go ahead and Google search “tentacle porn.” I’ll wait.)
Are you scarred for life yet?
The picture had dropped down in the group until someone commented on it this morning. Then one of my co-admins made a sort-of half-squicked, half-kidding comment about it.
Aaaaand that’s when my sadistic
self half came out to play. See, everyone forgets I’m a sadist. Actually, it kind of goes with the territory of “writer,” because you HAVE to be a complete farking sadist to a certain extent to put your characters through all the shite they must go through.
And that’s why I Google searched “spider porn” and produced a Facebook-appropriate picture of a huge-ass spider approaching a mostly clothed, but reclining woman in a chair. (I’ll spare you that pic, and instead give you the video clip I loaded next.)
Game set and match.
I think there were a few collateral damage victims in the midst of that, but my
sadistic self inner sadist was merrily amused. And, hey, I was able to educate a lot of people today that if they ever want to feel better about themselves, if they ever want to realize they are FAAAARRRRR more “normal” than they ever thought they were, all they have to do is Google search “spider porn.”
Rule 34, motherfuckers. Rule 34.
Mu. wa. ha. ha.