Life is a bunch of goods and bads and, somewhere in the middle, it all evens out, I guess. Right now is one of those “evening out” times. At least I hope it works out like that.

Tallied in the “good” column is a new book coming out this Friday, and this past weekend spent at FetishCon with Sir, a desperately needed weekend “off” where I could just put the world on hold and try to relax and take a break.

I say try, because that’s where the bad column comes in.

Our eldest dog, Scudder, who we’ve had since the day he turned eight weeks old, is unfortunately going downhill fast. He has a bad hip and he won’t even get up now. We have to struggle to get him to eat, and he’ll let us know he has to go out so we can take him outside–meaning carry him outside–but that’s all. He’s sixteen and was the first service dog puppy we raised. (He flunked for a variety of issues, so they let us keep him.)

Scudder, Christmas 2012

He’s not just been our pet. He’s been friend, confidant, the one ready with a wagging black Lab tail to try to cheer us up. My soul friend, and even familiar. Countless tears have been cried into his coat over the years by all three of us. He was always the one to come to us first when one of our other furbabies went to the Rainbow Bridge, there to comfort us with those big, sweet brown eyes.

I even immortalized him, and one of our other dogs, Tessa (who passed in 2010) in one of my stories (Puppy Dog Eyes) by naming characters after them.

Despite the trials of puppyhood, when he ate linoleum in both our kitchen and master bathroom, among other things, he grew to become a great dog, usually glued to me when I was home, and usually the first to step forward with a warning growl if he thought I was being threatened. In his younger days, he was a counter cruiser extraordinaire, including several pairs of kitchen shears (ate the handles), food, paper plates, dirty diapers he fished out of the garbage (prompting revamps of having to hide the garbage cans from him), and underwear. He used to love to fetch the newspaper for us (one of the tasks he learned how to do well in his initial training before flunking), and plenty of times, Hubby and I would deliver cards to each other by giving it to Scudder and sending him after the other.

It’s been reasonably calm around here since 2011, when we had to send our bulldog, Bubbles, to the Rainbow Bridge, due to cancer, not too long after my grandfather died. (Yeah, that was a sucky year, because a friend of ours ended up getting sick and dying of cancer later that year.)

Hubby and I are both having a hard time with this. And it’s times like this that the true depths of friendship come into play. I think some people assume since we have an alternative lifestyle that it’s all about fun and games and kinky shit. The truth is, I’d say over 80% of our relationship is “vanilla.” Maybe closer to 90%. Sir offered to go with us to the vet, if needed, or even to take him for us if we didn’t think we could.

That’s friendship. Today when we got home from our weekend at FetishCon, Sir took a few minutes to sit with Scudder to love up on him and say goodbye to him. We’re going to take him ourselves in the next couple of days, but I’m sure my two-legged black Lab (Sir) will be consoling me and Hubby both over the coming days. So those are good and bad column tallies that cancel each other out.

Scudder, 8/18/13

When I say we’re a family, we are. We call ourselves a “pack” for reasons just like this. And it’s all about love and friendship. The other stuff we do is incidental to all of that.

We’re not sure what day we’re doing it yet. I have to call our vet tomorrow and talk to them. But with all this happening, I have a job to do, yet it feels wrong to sit there pumping out promo for a new release when all I want to do is sit here and cry. Even Gidget and Apache, our other two dogs, are hovering around us and Scudder.

The cats, of course, are cats. LOL As long as they’re fed and their litter is clean, they don’t care about what happens in dog world, even though they share the same turf.

Hug your furbabies. And your human loved ones. Life is short, even when it’s filled with 16 years of love.

The good…and the bad.
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8 thoughts on “The good…and the bad.

  • August 18, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    I’m so sorry about Scudder. Please give him a huge hug for me. You gave him a great home and he loves you very much.

  • August 18, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    Hugs to you all! Its never easy having to make these choices. Im glad you had a fun weekend, and sad that you had to come home and make this decision. You all are in my thoughts! <3 YOU ALL!!
    Chris NoOne

  • August 18, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    So sorry about your furbaby! It is always hard especially when they have been part of your family for so long. Hugs to all.

  • August 19, 2013 at 12:03 am

    Oh, I’m so sorry. You have given that precious baby a loving home for 16 years, and he’s been your friend through it all. This decision is never easy, but I hope that I can offer comfort to you by telling you that I honestly believe that all animals have souls, and they go to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or whatever belief you may have. Scudder will be happy and whole again, with no pain. He’ll be running and jumping through a field of tall grass with wildflowers and butterflies to chase, and when it’s your time, and your hubby’s, and Sir’s, he’ll be waiting there for you with his tail wagging, and that huge Lab smile. That reunion will be absolutely joyous. I promise you that!

    Sending love and hugs to all of you.

  • August 19, 2013 at 8:19 am

    Big (((HUGS))) to you, Hubby, Sir and especially Scudder. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

  • August 19, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    It’s amazing how the 4 legged get into our hearts and our families, sometimes without us even knowing it. There are no words that will make this easier or better, but knowing that he is no longer in pain is a relief, whether they have 4 legs or 2. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. Prayers,

  • August 19, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    Thank you everyone for your love and support. We’re going to take him in tomorrow. 🙁

  • August 20, 2013 at 4:13 am

    Tymber, My heart goes out to you & your “pack” over the decision that you had to make for Scudder “health” Having made so many similar decisions in the past & with one (possibly two) furkid(s), that might soon be joining Scidder at the Rainbow Bridge, I know the second guessing of making such “plans” hurts afterwards as they do from the start. But I’ve been asked if I would make the same decisions as I did if I knew then what I know now, and there are very few decidions that I might a=have changed when it comes to my furkids. I have come to firmly believe that they will be there waiting for us when our time comes & will be ever so happy to be with us again. A big hug to all of your family & a mental hug to Scudder. <3
    Amelia in PDX

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