Dear makers of Schick Quattro for Women,
For some reason, you seem to think that the planet’s women are either richer than Scrooge McDuck, or pre-pubescent teenaged girls who don’t care about function over form.
For the record, I neither go around sniffing the handles of my razors, nor am I a petite, eight-fingered monkey–which, apparently you need to be to master the damn grip on this stupid thing.
The last criteria I use when selecting a razor is the scent. The first two considerations are 1) Can I shave the hair off my legs, pits, and wookie without also carving off slabs of my flesh like Canadian bacon, and 2) Will I be able to afford to purchase them without mortgaging my first-born child to do so?
You claim four blades and these little wire guard thingies over them. Well, guess what? It takes me like three passes–with a NEW DAMN RAZOR–to actually get a decent shave.
I don’t care about the colors. I could care LESS what color they are. And if you’re charging me more for the scent? Screw you.
The only reason I picked these up in the first place was because they fell somewhere in the price range between WTF are they on for charging THAT and those will chop my ankles off like a possessed weed whacker.
I guess the bottom line is I need to switch to men’s disposable razors. Unless, you know, you start making them smell like leather or remote controls or shit like that. Then I guess I’m screwed. I don’t need so many freaking curves and contours on a damn handle that I have to master yoga to learn how to use it. Half the time, my hands don’t want to work right anyway, so your curvy handles are actually a HINDERANCE to me getting a good shave.
Two or three blades? Okay. Four I believe is overkill, especially when the little wire thingies make it harder to get a good shave. (I think you just want to charge more for the extra blades.) A pivoting head. A razor I can get at least a week’s worth of shaving out of (legs, pits, wookie, and occasionally my neck but hey, I’m going to be forty-three this year, so don’t judge).
Ditch the scents. Ditch the avant-garde artistic handles. They suck anyway.
Give us gals a REASONABLY priced razor that does a REASONABLY decent job without taking off too much flesh to the bone in the process.
And so, my search for a decent razor continues… Feel free to sound off about your rants in the comments.