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So I’m pinin’ for the fjords.
No, not like that.
Let me start from the beginning…
What happened was, a couple of years ago when Hubby was out of town, I discovered Trollhunter on Netflix or Amazon Prime.
Anyhoo.
It’s a Norwegian film, and it’s funny as fuck.
But beyond that, the cinematography is AMAZING. The landscape is gorgeous. It’s filmed on location in Norway. So I love the movie as much for the scenery as I do the actual dry-as-dirt Norwegian humor that cracks me up no matter how many times I watch it.
Flash forward to the last time Hubby was out of town back in July, when I realized that our Fire Stick on our TV plays the Pluto TV app.
What is Pluto TV, you ask?
I don’t remember who told me about it, but months earlier I learned about it. It’s a FREE app, and it gives you all sorts of channels, including music-only channels. There’s commercials, which is, I guess, how they pay for it. But one of the channels is a classic Doctor Who channel. So if you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know why the fuck I love this app.
So I was scrolling through the channels on the Pluto TV app on my Fire Stick hooked to my TV (because it’s a lot better on a larger screen versus on my dang phone or tablet). I was working on my laptop out on the couch in the living room because my asshole darling cats were being buttheads having some issues missing their Daddy and kept knocking shit over every time I left the fucking room wouldn’t let me work in my office.
Anyhoo. I discovered a channel on the app called Slow TV. Out of curiosity I took a look, and it was a cab-view train ride through a European countryside. I thought to myself, “Self, that sure as hell looks like Norway. It isn’t, is it?”
Let me backtrack again… (LOL)
I use the Calm app every night to help me get to sleep, and my favorite story to listen to is narrated by Erik Braa and called The Nordland Night Train. In which his sexy-ass voice describes a train ride in Norway from Trondheim to Bodo. Which, I looked up on Google Earth, and it’s a real thing. He even describes when you cross the Arctic Circle how there are little loose-stone pyramids on either side of the tracks to mark it.
You with me so far? (I know, I sort of bounced around in this one.)
Okay.
So, I said, “Self, that looks like fucking Norway.”
I did some digging–it WAS Norway.
NOT only was it Norway…
IT’S THE TRAIN RIDE FROM TRONDHEIM TO BODO.
INCLUDING THE LITTLE STONE PYRAMIDS AT THE ARCTIC CIRCLE. (Yes, I’m shouting. #sorrynotsorry)
But…even better? There’s a fucking DOCUMENTARY about it, because apparently the Norwegians have zero fucks to give about what the rest of the world thinks, and they take enjoying life as low-stress as possible very seriously.
THERE ARE FOUR DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE RAW TRAIN RIDE FOOTAGE, ONE IN EACH SEASON, AND THEY’RE LIKE OVER NINE HOURS EACH. (You can watch them on YouTube.)
The documentary adds commentary in Norwegian, and music, and interviews, as they seamlessly sweep from one season to another. Like, you’ll go into a tunnel and it’s spring and come out in winter. It’s soooo cool.
And very fucking Zen. Pluto TV alternates showing blocks of raw footage that are around two hours long each with playing the whole documentary.
I guess the Norwegian public TV does this a lot. There was a real-time documentary of a boat ride up the coast, and people met the boat at each port. When this one about the train aired, there were like millions of people watching it. There’s one of a woman knitting, one of people stacking firewood, etc. It’s so neat. I’ll leave the TV on for hours at a time with the train ride playing in the background. Hubby thought I was crazy(ier than normal) while he was out of town and I was telling him about it.
Then he came home and started watching it and agrees that it’s pretty fucking Zen.
Anyhoo.
Now we want to go to Norway. It’s beautiful, and we’d love to see it.
All we need is money.
And passports.
And to work through the first several levels of my Babel app that’s teaching me Norwegian.
So if you find you need a little stress-free Zen time in your life, get the Pluto TV app, look up the Slow TV channel on it, and watch the train ride.
Choo-choo, motherfuckers.
Did you miss something…?
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Omg omg omg, I just died a little!! You are one of my top 3 favorite authors of all time and you love my country!! Very exiting for me! Anyways, the boat one is called Hurtigruta minute by minute. It lasted for 5 days I believe. Hoping you and your hubby get s chance to come here, I think you would absolutely love it! Squee!!
*blushing* Thank you! 🙂 Once we finally get to go over there (it’ll be a couple of years, most likely) I’ll make sure to try to figure out if we can meet up.
That would be amazeballs! Let me know if you need any language tutoring 😉
My parents went to Norway, the first time, as they had a few days in between the Tattoo in Scotland & having to catch a cruise from Copenhagen. They had a look at a map & decided Norway was close & then discovered Hurtigruten cruises, which are not only the local ferry, but take cruise passengers at the same time. They did a 3 day cruise from Bergen up the coast, as well as visiting other places in the country & fell in love. That first trip was in August, they have since gone back & done the full 12 day cruise up & back down the coast twice more, once in Autumn & the last time in January so they could see the northern lights. They even loved the snow & ice of the winter trip. They would love to go back again, & again!
I would love to see the Northern Lights, but not sure I could handle being there in winter with my arthritis and fibro. I’d love to see it in winter, though. We’ll see. I fell in love with it because of Trollhunter, so Norway really should have those filmmakers be ambassadors for their country. LOL The cinematography was amazing.