I’m fat.

No, I’m not morbidly obese, but the past couple of months emotionally took a toll on me, and one way I coped with it was not going to the gym because I didn’t “feel” like it, plus holiday foods were hard to resist.

Excuses, I know.

When I first started Weight Watchers, my original goal was 195 pounds. I did manage to get down as far as 192, but then my weight crept up again. I had a lot of excuses. With Annie in the hospital, then losing her, I wasn’t feeling up to trying to take good care of myself. Weather, and emotions, triggered fibro flares.


Well, last week I started up at the gym again. And re-dedicated myself to getting back on track with my WW plan. I’ve started stocking healthy foods in the fridge again, and counting my points like I should. I’ve also stuck two sticky notes on the wall above my desk, where I have to see them every time I sit down at the computer.

No Excuses!

That one applies not only to my weight, but to work habits as well.


That’s the goal weight I want to hit first. I am breaking it down into small chunks, as recommended by the WW site. 195 was my first goal, a 5-pound goal when I started, so time to aim for it again. Once I hit it, I’ll readjust it downward by another five or so pounds. My final goal is 155, which is a good weight for my frame. (Although I’ll easily settle for 165.) Right now, I’m 213.6 and 5’8″. This is not a healthy weight for me. I am technically obese if you look at the charts. Not morbidly so, but because of my bone structure, I hide it reasonably well. It settles in my ass and thighs for the most part.

But since I do have a history of heart disease in my family on my maternal grandmother’s side, I need to pay close attention to my health. My fibro makes it imperative I improve my physical condition. I also don’t want to put myself at risk for diabetes or other health issues.

So today I’m facing the facts. I’m fat, and I don’t like being this way. It’s not even a cosmetic issue as much as it is I don’t feel healthy. I’m carrying more than a huge bag of dry dog food on my frame, and I know how heavy one of those bastards are. I know I’ll feel better all around physically by getting this weight off. Hubby managed to drop 25 pounds last year and feels a lot better for it. Sir is in pretty good shape, but He’s now looking at some potential cardiac issues and He wants to drop some weight (and He, like me, hides it well).

So no more excuses. I will get healthy. I will do this.

195, here I come.

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7 thoughts on “Ugh.

  • February 7, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Wishing you luck..I’m there too. Stressful couple of months and the holidays…any excuse!
    I’ll join you in your journey to a healthy weight.
    I reckon we can do it!
    Hugs xx

  • February 7, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    I to am on the WW plan. And it sucks know according to all the charts I’m obses. I’m 5’6 and 192. And my whole family is fat. We actaully are in the small percentage of people who can blame the genes. We had them tested. 🙂 and we all hide it well. I’m actaully the shortest at 5’6 everyone else is 5’9 and up including the women. So I say amen to your sticky notes and you go girl. Even though it’s kinda dated and silly to say so. Because your not alone by a long shot and you write awesome stories that inspirer us. There’s a fun couple of notes by Nike out there about thunder thighs and having a C shaped butt. I have them on my wall they keep me going.

  • February 8, 2012 at 12:38 am

    @SusieJ – Thanks. 🙂 Good luck to you, too!

    @sarah – Thanks. 🙂 I wish I could blame mine on genes. Mine is more to blame on Southern cooking. LOL

  • February 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    I too am trying to lose weight mainly for health reasons.. and reading your blog has spurred me on again.. Extra weight is probably in my genes, but I have lost 3 stone before and felt better for it. I took up dog agility which helped with my fitness levels. I now have the added problem of MS and my left leg does not cooperate with walking for any distance.. so I need to use that exercise bike more… Hubby is going to make a holder for my kindle so I can pedal and read …. love him.

  • February 8, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    You can do this. Just take it one day at a time. I used to weigh over 350 pounds and it’s a never ending struggle for me as well. I will never be model thin, but I don’t want to be, just happy and comfortable in my own skin. I turn to food when I’m happy and when I’m sad, basically whenever any emotion is going through me. I ended up gaining some weight back through my divorce, but like you, I’ve refocused and rededicated myself to keep going forward.

    Great job! You will see your goal again in no time!


  • February 8, 2012 at 10:35 pm


    Just 2 weeks ago joined WW and have since lost 3.1kgs or 5 pounds. I have my weigh-in tonight, so I am hoping I have lost some more weight. I am 5’10 and I am told I am morbidly obese, but I have made a choice that I will be a healty weight by December this year and I hope that together we can all help each other.
    Talk to you next time.

  • February 10, 2012 at 2:43 am

    @Rebecca – Your hubby is great for doing that for you! 🙂 Good luck with your efforts, too!

    @Tammy – Thank you. 🙂 I’m like you, I don’t want to be “skinny,” but I need to be healthy because of the fibromyalgia. And this extra weight isn’t helping me any.

    @SarahNZ – Good luck! I know that WW does work when I stay on it. I try to trick myself by using up my activity points first before my extra points, so that helps me. Once I get into the habit of sticking with my work-outs, I know that’s going to help me, too. It just takes a while since I despise exercise. LOL

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