Consent 101 #BDSM #ConsentMatters

In light of the Michael Makai / Charles Michael Segaloff arrest, I’m going to reiterate the basics of consent when it comes to BDSM. This really is not a difficult topic to grok for most people, but apparently some self-appointed BDSM “gurus” like Mr. Makai/Segaloff  and others need a reminder. For starters, watch this: Consent is … Read More

US legal system primer: how someone is labelled a “registered sex offender.”

I’m seeing an appalling number of people who are either just woefully ignorant of how our justice system works, or are deliberately being willfully stupid, when it comes to this case of Michael Makai / Charles Michael Segaloff. You cannot just get slapped with a “sex offender” label. To become a registered sex offender, you must … Read More

Dear Vanillas: Fifty Shades of Grey does not represent ME.

Dear Vanillas who are about to go see Fifty Shades of Grey, the movie (or who are refusing to go see the movie because they think it’s about abuse), I am a real-life practitioner of BDSM. I am a switch and submit only to my Sir, although I identify as a Dominant in all other … Read More

BDSM vs. Abuse

Friend and fellow writer Tara Rose has a great blog post today, in the wake of the premier of the trailer for 50 Shades of Grey, that details the differences between healthy, consensual BDSM and abuse. (Complete with nifty graphics for those who are visual learners. 🙂  ) http://www.tararoseromanceauthor.com/2014/07/bdsm-versus-abuse-do-you-understand.html